


I'd Like To Include Me In Your Will

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, drabbles drabbles everywhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:49:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rule #1 about dating Cristiano Ronaldo: You do not insult Cristiano Ronaldo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Like To Include Me In Your Will

**Author's Note:**

> I like drabbles :)

"Leo, say something positive about me."

" ... you have really long eyelashes."

"Ha! Ok, now say something negative."

"You give terrible hugs."

"WHAT?!"

 

Rule #1 about dating Cristiano Ronaldo: You do not insult Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

"You do that weird 'pat pat' thing. It's non-committal. It's like you don't care."

"What the fuck Leo! Of course I care!"

"Cris it's not that big of a deal. "

"Says the tiny man who just shit all over the way I hug people! Maybe I'm not a terrible hugger Leo, maybe it's you!"

"Me?"

"Maybe you just don't receive my hugs properly. Hmmm? You ever think about that, asshole?!"

 

Rule #2 about dating Cristiano Ronaldo: You _do not_ insult Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

"What does that even mean, Cris?"

"A hug goes both ways Leo."

"I agree, but when I wrap my arms around you, I do it with purpose. It's my body's way of saying ' _hello baby I'm here, I miss you._ ' where as when you do it to me, it's more like your body's way of saying ' _th_ _ere are a million other things I'd rather be doing, but let me humor you for a second_.' It's sad, really."

"Fuck you."

 

Rule #3 about dating Cristiano Ronaldo: You _do not insult_ Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

"Listen baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anyth -"

"You know what? I'm calling James."

"Why?"

"To prove a point Leo."

"Cris, it's 2 o'clock in the morning."

"It's ringing, be quiet ... James? James it's Cris. Wha - what? Yes I know it's late bu - look I just need to ask you a questi - what? James just listen to me ... Ok next time ill text you first but ... no listen to me for a minu - JAMES! JESUS CHRIST! LISTEN, DO YOU THINK I GIVE BAD HUGS?!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"WELL FUCK YOU TOO JAMES!"

 

Rule #4 about dating Cristiano Ronaldo: You _do NOT insult_ Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

"Cris, my love, I take back what I said. You give great hugs. What do I know?"

"No you've ruined it now, I'm never hugging you again."

"Baby please ... "

"No Leo you've shattered my soul. I don't think I'll ever recover from this."

"Honestly Cris, you have to be the most dramatic human being I've ever met."

"Thank you."

"..."

"..."

"Cris ..."

"What?"

"Cris ..."

"What Leo?"

"Cristiano ..."

"Leo what?!"

"I love you. Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad Leo, I'm disappointed."

"Seriously?"

"Mhmm. I guess we'll have to ruffle each others hair from now on instead of hugging."

"Well that won't work either, you put way too much grease in your ha -"

"OH MY GOD! GO CHOKE ON A DICK!"

 

Rule #5 about dating Cristiano Ronaldo: You _DO NOT insult Cristiano Ronaldo._


End file.
